


The Road You Didn't Take

by lostin_space



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Getting to Know Each Other, M/M, Michael Guerin Week 2020, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:26:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26518954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostin_space/pseuds/lostin_space
Summary: Michael hates his life and he's finally ready to try and change that. It just so happens that he meets someone that changes his life more than he could've expected.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 146
Kudos: 174





	1. "You don't have to stay."

**Author's Note:**

> each chapter will be for each day of Michael guerin week and the tags will be updated as necessary. Thanks for reading!
> 
> day 1: "You don't have to stay."

Michael Guerin hated his life.

When he was young, he’d had these big aspirations of becoming an engineer. He buried himself in his studies, he didn’t go to parties, he didn’t date, he worked his ass off. It was all good until he finished his first year of college and they pulled his scholarship.

It covered a lot of it, he only had to pay $400 a semester after it was done. But that was $400 more than he had and he couldn’t get loans because he had no credit and no one to co-sign. Then when he decided to take a year off to work and save, they waited until afterward to tell him that would make him completely lose his scholarship. Now, suddenly, he was 26 and driving for fucking Uber around Albequerque and living in a room in his sister’s house that he was “renting” out.

Isobel knew he hated it. Sometimes he could feel her just staring at him with so much pity. He wanted to be annoying, but, honestly, he was miserable. He wasted all of his time when he was young studying for something he couldn’t achieve and then letting himself suffer after that. Now it was just odd jobs until he found something that gave him purpose. So far, he hadn’t found anything.

“You don’t have to stay,” Isobel would tell him sometimes, “You can leave and find somewhere where you can get a more stable job.”

“Like where?” Michael would laugh, “Everywhere is expensive and I have no credentials.”

“But there are cheaper places to live and places with better job opportunities. I love having you here, but I hate seeing you so miserable.”

“If you think of someplace, let me know.”

It was the same conversation they’d had over and over. She never really gave him any actual suggestions. Usually, it was off-handed suggestions of random places around New Mexico that were cheaper than living in the city. But, today, she had something.

Isobel slapped a piece of paper on the counter in front of him with  _ Fortenberry Farm,  _ an address, a date, and a phone number written across it.

“They’re looking for a new farmhand. They pay $2k a month, but they have a trailer on the land that you can have to make your own space. It’s in Mississippi and you need to go meet them on Sunday evening, but I’m pretty sure they’re going to hire you, so you might as well just bring your shit,” Isobel explained. Michael’s eyes widened and he slowly looked up to her. Her face was expressionless.

“Isobel, are you serious?” he asked. She crossed her arms over her chest.

“I love you, Michael. I don’t really want you living that far away, but if it gives you something to do other than suffer? Then I want you to go. Obviously, you’re going to have to call me daily and schedule visits to come see me, but go. I want you to. I already called them and talked you up, said it was a little bit of a surprise because you’re such a hard worker and extremely loyal.”

Michael got up and hugged her, finally feeling like he might have a chance to do something. Sure, a farmhand job wasn’t great, but it wasn’t something he hadn’t done before. He could figure it out. Anything was better than this.

He needed a fresh start.

“Thank you so much, Izzy.”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t fuck it up.”

By the time Michael went to his car for what could possibly be his last day if all went well on Sunday, he had a skip in his step. He bobbed his head along to the radio with a smile on his face, singing along to songs he hadn’t realized he memorized all the words to. He felt  _ good.  _

Then his first ride stepped into his car.

It was a guy with dark hair and a 5 o’clock shadow. He had a backpack that looked like it was going to bust and he sat down with a heavy demeanor. He looked tired and drained and Michael could help but feel bad for him. 

And then he got a better look at his face.

Michael felt his whole body tense up as he took a long look through the rearview mirror at what was unmistakably Alex Manes. He remembered being in high school with him and genuinely considering skipping studying to approach him. Michael had crushed on him for years and, after college didn’t pan out, he regretted not going after him. It felt like a lost opportunity. But here he was. 

“Where to?” Michael asked, trying to play it off as well as he could. Alex looked at him more efficiently. If there was any part of him that recognized Michael, he didn’t show it. Instead, he sighed heavily.

“How far are you willing to take me?”

Michael blinked a couple of times as he again looked at Alex. He was still beautiful. A little older, a little tired, but he was still fucking gorgeous. And he was in his car, years after school and looking for a way out. Funnily enough, Michael had one. It felt like fate.

So, maybe it was stupid, but he didn’t regret it.

“How about Mississippi?”


	2. "There's something you should know..."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael tries to get to know him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I was originally going to make him running away from the military, but I decided to do the cliche celebrity-looking-for-a-way-out trope. I usually these, buuuut it was too good 
> 
> Day 2 of Michael Guerin week: "There's something you should know..."

Alex sat in the back of the car, staring out the window.

He still had that crease between his eyebrows like he was concerned or in pain. Michael had went to ask if he was alright more than once, but he figured he'd say something if he wanted it to be known. Besides, he agreed to Mississippi, so that was something.

They were still in New Mexico, going 80 on the interstate and sitting in complete silence. It'd crossed Michael's mind more than once that he should probably mention that he recognized him, it'd make things less new. They weren't strangers. Well, they were, but they weren't. Or something.

"So," Michael started, looking up at him, "I figure we could stop in Texas for the night, stay somewhere."

"Okay," Alex agreed.

Michael waited for a few more minutes before caving and deciding to ask.

"Are you okay?" 

Alex didn't immediately answer. He just breathed and stared out the window, clearly trying to think of what to say. That was enough to tell Michael that the answer was "no" but he didn't push. He wasn't stupid back in high school. As beautiful as Alex was, he'd always been a bit troubled. Maybe that was still following him. He just wanted to know.

"Well, personally, life sucks. Headed to Mississippi to try to start new myself, so hopefully it'll help you too," Michael offered. Alex breathed in deep and shrugged.

"Doubt it."

"Why not?" Silence again. "Okay. Well, I hope it does anyway."

Michael turned on the radio and fiddled with it for awhile before settling on a radio show where the two hosts were spilling celebrity gossip. Ariana Grande this, Kendall Jenner that, a ton of other names he didn't quite recognize. It was mindless enough until they started talking about someone in particular.

"Alright, let's talk about why fans of Fever Dream, the indie folk punk band gone mainstream after their title song from their most recent album went viral, are thinking lead singer Alex Manes might be leaving the band after going radio silent on all social media," one of the hosts said, using her best gossip voice. Michael's eyes widened a little and he looked back to Alex who looked even more pained.

"Can you change it, please?" Alex asked. 

"Yeah," Michael agreed, clearing his throat and turning it to a random station. An old Johnny Cash song played through the speakers and it felt safe. Well, at least he knew what he was running from..

Michael didn't say anything more as they drove. How did he not realize Alex had gotten famous? Or, had reached some level of fame at least. Shouldn't that be something he would've noticed? 

It made him even more nervous to tell Alex that he knew him. He might think he was lying, that he was some crazed fan who was taking advantage of Alex's state. Honestly, it didn't seem like Alex had much self-preservation in the first place. 

Michael got off at an exit right on the edge of New Mexico and Texas to stop and get gas. He asked Alex if he wanted anything to eat and got a shrug, so he went into the gas station and just got a few different things and hoped Alex would like at least one. Crackers, original potato chips, chocolate, and two slices of cheese pizza along with two bottles of water.

"Thank you," Alex said, accepting the pizza and the water. Michael just smiled and went to fill up the tank.

When he got back in the car, they sat and ate and Michael tried to figure out what to say to him. He didn't want to press, but he also didn't want to spend the entire weekend with him in silence. He just had to find something to talk to him about.

"So, what's it like having straight hair?" Michael asked. Alex looked at him with confused eyes and slowly pulled the water bottle from his mouth. He had the tiniest trace of a smile which felt like a win.

"What?"

"Well, I wanna get to know you so small talk is out of question, but I don't wanna start too heavy. So I got that and asking how you prefer your toast. Pick your poison," Michael said. Alex's smile got a little more obvious.

"Barely cooked. Just enough to call it toast with grape jelly on it," Alex answered. Michael nodded thoughtfully. 

"I'm more of a strawberry jam guy myself, but I respect your choices," he said, "I don't turn peanut butter down either."

"Peanut butter on toast?"

"Don't knock it 'til you try it. It's good," Michael promised.

"I'll have to try it sometime."

"Absolutely."

Michael opened the bag of chips and held it out to Alex. He plucked a couple from the bag and held them in his palm as he ate slowly. Michael switched between looking at him and looking at the chips.

"So, do you like podcasts? I can put one on until we find a motel," he said.

"I'll listen to whatever."

"I like true crime, but that might be a little much when we basically just met," Michael said. Alex shook his head.

"I don't mind."

"You're just going with the flow on everything, huh?" Alex just shrugged.

"Sometimes you need to just go with the flow."

"I feel that," Michael nodded, "I've been living with my sister and just going with the flow, but I'm tired of that shit. Heading out to Mississippi to find a new job. You were gonna be my last ride, so it was pretty phenomenal."

"Funny how life works," Alex said. Michael nodded. 

He stared at him for a moment, weighing his options. It seemed like a good time to just get out on the table.

"So, if we're gonna be traveling together, there's probably something you should know," Michael said. Alex froze a little and looked at him cautiously, nodding. "We went to high school together. Michael Guerin, if you remember. Wasn't particularly talkative."

Alex stared at him, eyebrows furrowed as he tried to place him before they shot up and his eyes widened. 

"Oh, fuck, dude, I'm sorry I didn't notice you," he said, "Life's been hectic."

"You're fine, I'm surprised you remember me at all."

"How could I not? You were smart as fuck, I used to be so jealous," Alex laughed. He'd visibly relaxed since hearing that and Michael wished he would've said something earlier.

"You were jealous of me? I was jealous of you. You were so cool," Michael insisted. Alex quirked a little smile and shrugged. 

"Guess we probably should've talked then, huh?" Alex said, "Fate clearly wants us to meet."

The idea of fate having a hand in this whole thing was almost too romance novel for him, but he liked it. How else would they explain how perfect the timing was?

"Well, guess we should see why."

Alex smiled genuinely. He was obviously tired and worn, but his smile was still warm and Michael felt special. This felt worth every bad choice he'd made.

"I guess we should."


	3. "I don't want you to go."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get a motel room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> day 3 of michael guerin week: "I don't want you to go."
> 
> if i missed any tags, let me know

Michael pulled up to a motel that looked decent enough that was somewhere in almost eastern Texas.

“I am so fucking pissed at you right now,” Isobel snapped through the phone as he and Alex got out of the car. Alex’s eyes widened a little as he heard her through the phone, but he smiled right after like a teenage boy who was doing something he shouldn’t. It was unfairly attractive.

“Look, if I get the job, just can just come down with all my shit and help me settle in,” Michael suggested.

“Oh, like I’m gonna do that! You’re going to take your happy ass _right_ back to New Mexico to get your own shit, say goodbye to your _loving_ sister _properly,_ and _then_ start your job,” she instructed. Michael smiled as he walked towards the front desk.

“I will, Izzy, I promise. I gotta go, I love you.”

“You better love me.”

“I do,” he promised. And he did. 

“Love you too,” she said despite her anger, “Stay safe.”

“Always.”

He put his phone in his back pocket and stepped up to the older lady behind the desk. She looked at them lazily. 

“Can we get two rooms, please?”

“Two?” she clarified, looking between them. Michael held back a laugh and nodded. “Okay.”

Alex nudged him a little and, when he looked over at him, he raised his eyebrows. Michael decided he was clearly delirious. It _was_ nearly midnight and Alex had looked tired since he stepped into his car nearly ten hours prior. But maybe it had something to do with Alex having known him before all the bullshit. Still, Michael flashed him a smile and nudged him right back. Alex folded his lips in to hide his grin and turned his attention towards the lady. 

The second half of the car ride had been full of actual talking, just avoiding the fame of it all. Michael told him about his loving sister, Alex told him about his best friend, things like that. Things that were about themselves, but not _really_ about themselves. It lightened the mood infinitely.

“Sorry, boys, there’s only one room open, but it’s got two beds if you want it,” she said. Michael traced his teeth with his tongue and looked to Alex.

“I’ll sleep in the car,” he offered. Alex looked at him for a second and then shook his head.

“Don’t be silly, it’s fine,” Alex said, shrugging it off and pulling out his card. Michael thought about stopping him, but the lady had already taken it by the time it completely registered.

“I’ll pay you back.”

“Nope, you paid for gas,” Alex said simply. Michael didn’t say anything more.

“You know, you look familiar,” the old lady said, eyeing Alex as she handed him his card back. Alex just smiled.

“I get that a lot.”

The two of them made their way to their room after grabbing the key. Alex opened the door and flicked on the light. It was small, but there were two queen sized beds, a TV, and a coffee pot so it would definitely suffice. 

Alex immediately dropped onto the bed closest to the door and Michael smiled. He thought about pointing out how gross it probably was, but Alex deserved some sleep. He closed the door and put the key on the little table.

“When’s the last time you slept?” Michael asked, leaning against the wall as he started to tug his boots off. 

“What time is it?”

“Midnight.”

“Then probably 36 hours,” Alex breathed. Michael whistled lowly. “I flew from LA to Roswell and then I couldn’t make myself go into town, so I took a cab to Albuquerque. Had coffee and met you.” 

“Haven’t been back to Roswell in years,” Michael admitted.

“Me neither. Don’t want to.”

“What made you leave LA? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Alex let out a heavy breath and slowly pushed himself again like it took a lot out of him. Michael dropped himself on the opposite bed and watched Alex. The lighting was low and shitty and Alex somehow looked heavenly.

“Didn’t wanna be there,” Alex said. Michael shrugged and decided not to push.

“Fair enough.”

He laid down on the bed and, as uncomfortable as it was, let himself relax. His interview wasn’t until Sunday, but they could probably get a late start on the drive and find another motel in Mississippi so he could freshen up. It would all work out.

“I was meant to stay nameless and faceless in my band. I wanted to be able to make a life for myself and make music, but not have to sacrifice myself for it, you know?” Alex suddenly said. Michael turned his head to face him. That would explain how he never heard about it. “Once we started getting bigger and people started getting interested in who I was, my guitarist leaked my full name and my face.”

“Fuck,” Michael breathed.

“I tried to just make it work, to accept that it was inevitable and hope that it wasn’t that bad, but... Yeah, no, I couldn’t. I couldn’t go to my local karaoke bar anymore. Sounds stupid but that’s what did it for me so I left. I wanted to go home, but I realized I didn’t really have a home. Now I’m just...”

“Lost?” Michael filled in. Alex nodded.

“I’m hoping I caught it early enough and I can just fade into obscurity. Like not enough people know my name to completely fuck me over,” Alex said. Michael smiled softly.

“Should be easy enough in the country,” he said. Alex nodded and breathed in deep. “What are you going to do when we get to Mississippi?”

“I don’t know yet,” he sighed, “Leave you alone, probably, so I don’t bother you more than I already have.”

“No,” Michael said softly, “You aren’t bothering me. Fate, remember?”

Alex swallowed hard enough that Michael could hear it and he took a shaky breath. And he smiled.

“Right,” he said, “Fate.”

“Besides, we both won’t know anyone out there. We can be friends and stuff, get coffee, help each other out. I’ll be a farmhand, so I should get really buff soon,” Michael pointed out. Alex nodded, but he was clearly tired and this conversation was clearly too heavy. “Let’s get some sleep and dream about how buff I’ll get.”

Alex let out a soft laugh as he reached to turn out the light. “Sounds good.”

Michael got under the sheets and pulled the pillow under his head and tried not to think too much about the germs of it all. After a long day of driving, he needed it.

He was half asleep when Alex spoke again.

“I don’t want you to go away either,” he said into the darkness, “Just to be clear.”


	4. "We are family."/The Lost Decade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People need people, you know?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> day 4 of michael guerin week: the lost decade/"we are family"

_9 years ago_

Michael wouldn’t say he was an expert at telling who was walking by the sound alone, but he _was_ very good at it.

It was a mix between the rhythm, the speed, the force, and the shoe. He’d known Isobel long enough that he could tell what shoes she was wearing. Still, his eyes drifted away from his book as he heard the sound of boots stalking down the hall. Now cowboy boots, though, those sounded more similar to high heels. These were with a purpose. It could only be Alex Manes.

Michael chewed on his pen as the door of the library swung open. He swallowed hard and things seemed to move in slow motion as Alex sauntered inside, his chin held high and his face stoic. Michael thought he was the prettiest thing to ever exist.

Alex walked right past him, heading for the nonfiction section and not even noticing he was there. Michael didn’t mind. His eyes looked over Alex from behind and took a deep breath. Yeah, he didn’t mind.

-

_8 years ago_

He got a scholarship. It was nice and shiny and _his._ He was going to do something. He was going to _be_ someone.

“Michael! You need to have some fun. Seriously, if you don’t, you’re going to burn out before you even get your Bachelor’s,” Isobel lectured. It wasn’t the first time. She was supportive as ever, but, as the end of their senior year approached, she made it very clear that she thought he was repressing himself from fun.

“Studying _is_ fun,” he insisted. She sighed heavily.

“Michael, that’s the saddest shit I’ve ever heard, please say you’re kidding.” He shook his head and tried to give his attention to his notes. 

Isobel grabbed his head, though, and made him look up. The sun was shining and the sky was pretty, fluffy clouds gliding across light blue. She scraped her fingernails over his scalp and settled behind him, holding him in place.

“You are so smart. You could have anything in the world,” she told him, “That includes a break.”

“I don’t know what I would do for a break.”

“Walk around the mall, go for coffee, ask someone to see a movie, anything. As long as you doing something that isn’t studying without guilt,” she insisted.

Michael looked up at the sky and thought about it. The mall sounded boring and he got coffee everyday. However, asking someone to see a movie was new. The first person that came to mind was Alex Manes. He was probably too cool to watch movies. 

“This feels like a break,” he said out loud instead. She laughed softly and sighed.

“Okay, fine.”

-

_7 years ago_

Michael was crumbling.

“Michael,” Isobel said, her face stoic, “Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop breaking your back,” Isobel scoffed. She basically ripped the apron off of him. 

“Isobel, I have work!”

“I know you do, but when’s the last time you slept more than three hours?” Isobel demanded. He didn’t have an answer. “You’re going to kill yourself like this!”

“I have to work to pay for gas and school and car insurance and food and--”

“You need to take a break!”

“I can’t!”

“Yes, you can!” Isobel yelled, “I will literally pay you to take a break!”

“You’re not paying me anything, now move so I can get to work.”

“I’ll move if you agree to take a break.”

“Fuck you, Isobel,” he scoffed, pushing past her and stealing his apron back.

He apologized later that night and still missed his next payment.

-

_6 years ago_

His scholarship was gone as quick as it had come.

“I’m so fucked,” he whispered, feeling more hollow than he’d ever been.

After years of working his ass of, he’d gotten nothing to show for it. He’d wasted his teenage years. He was stuck. He didn’t know how to even fucking socialize at this point. He was just a mess.

“I have to get a job,” he whispered, “Like, a real job. How do you get a real job?”

“It’ll be fine,” Isobel promised. Michael shook his head.

“I can’t live off of minimum wage. We’re going through a fucking recession, Iz, how am I supposed to get a job that pays enough for that?” he rambled. Her hand reached out and she squeezed his knee.

“I’ll help you.”

“I don’t even have a real place to live. I don’t have parents to rely on. I-I don’t have a family, I don’t have anyone,” he whispered, letting out a shaky breath.

“Michael,” Isobel said, moving to crouch in front of him. He blinked a few times and tried to focus on her. It was hard. “Stop it. _We_ are family. Me and you and Max. You’ve got us, we’re not going anywhere.”

“I can’t rely on you,” Michael whispered, sniffling. 

“Says who? I say you can rely on me. I rely on you all the time,” Isobel insisted, smiling so small and comforting that he just wanted to curl in on himself. Isobel moved closer to put her hand on his cheek. “We’ve got each other, okay?”

“But I--”

“You’re my brother, Michael, and I won’t let you fall. I’ll always be there to catch you,” she promised. He nodded and tried not to feel guilty about that. “Have I told you today how much I love you?”

“Not yet,” he croaked out. She laughed and pulled him into a tight hug.

“I love you.”

-

_present day_

Michael opened his eyes groggily and immediately searched for his phone.

A yawn struck him as he found it and he unlocked it, rubbing his eye as he sent Isobel a ‘good morning, I’m alive’ text. That typically sent those when they found themselves not coming home some nights. It felt like second nature to do it this morning.

“Thank you,” another voice said. Michael had to quickly catch his brain up that he had stayed in a motel room with Alex Manes and he quickly ruffled his hair to make himself look presentable as Alex closed the door with a bag of food. “Morning, sleepyhead, I ordered breakfast.”

“What time is it?” Michael asked, clearing his throat. Alex raised an eyebrow and gestured down to the phone in his hand. Michael followed it and saw that it was after nine. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, how’d you sleep?” Michael asked. Alex shrugged.

“Fine,” he said, “I struggle sleeping in new places no matter how tired I am.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault,” Alex laughed, pulling out the styrofoam boxes from the bag, “I hope you like bacon, eggs, grits, and whole wheat toast.”

“I do,” Michael said, gratefully taking the box and the plastic fork Alex was holding out for him, “Thank you.”

“No problem.” 

Alex sat down on his bed and they started eating. Isobel responded back with a return ‘good morning, I’m alive’ text and a selfie of her business casual outfit for the day. He smiled at it easily and said she looked nice.

“So, I was thinking about what we were talking about last night,” Alex said. Michael looked up at him.

“Which part?”

“The part where we could be friends and hang out when we get to Mississipi,” Alex said, “I think it’s a good idea. People need people, you know? It’s better than being completely alone, you know?”

“Yeah,” Michael said, smiling softly as shoveled his grits in his mouth, “I do.”


	5. "Just trust me."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They head to Mississippi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 5: "Just trust me."
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: shitty childhood talk

They checked out of the motel room around three and Alex got into the passenger seat instead of the back.

“So, we’ll probably get to Mississippi sometime around 10 or 11, but we could stop for dinner before that?” Michael suggested. Alex nodded.  


“Sounds good to me,” he said, grabbing the aux cord like he owned the place and plugging in his phone. Michael said nothing as he backed out of the parking space.

Smooth, lo-fi music started to play through the speakers as he made his way towards the interstate. Alex hummed along to it and Michael didn’t bother him, listening to him. He wasn’t outright singing, but it still sounded nice. He wondered how many times he’d heard Alex’s music and just didn’t know it was him.

“What happens if you want to go back to music?” Michael asked even though he knew it was probably pushier than he meant it. Alex took a deep breath.  


“Music is my favorite thing in the world, but I don’t want to make it where it controls and ruins my life. I’m not sacrificing my love for it just so I can be famous, you know?” Alex said, “When we were small and no one knew my face, but I still did well enough to pay my rent, it was best. Maybe in a few years I’ll go back to making solo music under a different name, but right now... Right now I’m not interested in doing it for more than myself.”  


“Fair enough,” Michael answered, “Maybe we’ll go to some local karaoke bar and bang out some country tunes together.”  


“You sing?” Alex asked, a smile on his face.  


“I mean, of course, but I didn’t say I do it _well_ ,” he said. Alex laughed. It was a nice sound.  


“We’ll definitely have to go sometime.”  


They fell silent again as Alex played song after song that he felt like listening to. Michael made a mental note to ask him about some of the bands later. 

"So, tell me something embarassing that you've done," Alex said as they crossed into Louisiana. Michael laughed.

"Uh, I don't know?" Michael said, but he saw an opportunity to get a feel for his chances with Alex and took it, "I didn't go on my first date until I was 23. That's embarassing, I guess."

"No, it's not, I was 24," Alex said. Michael scoffed.

"I don't believe that."

"Why not?"

"Have you seen you?" Michael pointed out, "I find it hard to believe people aren't flirting with you every day of your life." 

"It took me a long time to come to terms with my sexuality," Alex admitted. Michael nearly jumped for joy, but he managed to keep it under control. 

"I feel that," Michael said, "Didn't date my first guy until last year."

Alex smiled, "How'd that go?"

"Well, I'm single now, aren't I?" Michael joked.

"Yeah, you got a point," Alex said. 

They talked more, telling stories of bad dates and hook-ups gone wrong. Michael told a story of getting a nose bleed while going down on someone, Alex told a story of dislocating his knee and needing his one night stand to pop it back into place. By the time Michael begrudgingly told a story of going on a date with someone and then two days later finding her making out with his sister on the couch, Alex was laughing so hard he snorted and Michael was pretty sure he was already in love.

They ended up getting off a Baton Rouge exit to find a place to eat, settling on a Chili's since that felt like a safe option. They sat for longer than they should've, eating and talking and joking. It wasn't a date, but, if it was, it was the best first date Michael had ever been on.

"No, stop, I'm paying," Michael said as Alex tried to take the ticket.

"No, you paid for gas and you're going to have to pay for gas to drive back to get your shit after you kill that interview," Alex said, twisting away so Michael couldn't reach the ticket.

"You paid for the motel," Michael argued, standing up and reaching across the table. Alex let out a downright adorable giggle as he held it away from him, swatting at his arm.

"And I'm paying for tonight's too, get over it," he said.

",No, that's not fair."

"Michael," Alex said, grabbing his hand and looking at him with intoxicating eyes, "I'm paying. Just trust me, okay?" 

Michael glared and slowly sat down. Alex just laughed as he put his card down and gave it to the waitress as she walked past.

"You can pay the tip," Alex suggested. Michael rolled his eyes. "Oh, stop pouting."

"Make me," Michael shot back. Alex smiled at him, his cheeks turning a shad of red as he shook his head.

"Maybe later," he said. That shut Michael up.

They got back in the car and the air seemed to change. They were full and a little tired and Alex started playing something nice and slow. Alex hummed along again, adding to the soothing air. It was crazy that this man was the same as the one from yesterday, even crazier that it was the same as the boy from high school.

"What's in your ring?" Alex asked softly. Michael glanced down and then held his hand out closer to Alex. He grabbed his hand, his thumb tracing over the ring.

"I was in foster care as a kid and that's the only thing I have left from my mom. I hid it every time they took all my shit away so I wouldn't lose it," Michael admitted.

"Oh," Alex breathed, "It's pretty."

"Thank you."

Alex kept his hand, playing with his fingers and his ring mindlessly. Michael smiled to himself when he realized he'd only asked to get ahold of his hand. He didn't try to take it back.

"Do you know why your parents gave you up?" Alex asked, "If you don't mind me asking."

"Uh, I looked into it when I got older. My dad died before I was born and I think my mom just didn't have a good support system. She kept me for a few days, but she gave me up hoping I'd have a better life. Didn't really work that way, but it's the thought that counts," Michael said, shrugging, "She died before I could find her though, so."

"I'm sorry," Alex told him. Michael shrugged his shoulders. 

"I'm good."

"If it helps, my parents sucked too. My mom left when I was young and my dad was an abusive piece of shit," Alex said. Michael frowned.

"I'm sorry," he said, twisting his hand a little to squeeze Alex's. Alex pressed his thumb into his palm and slowly traced up his middle finger. 

"I got away, so I'm fine. Therapy helps," Alex admitted. Michael hummed.

"I want to eventually."

"It's worth it."

They sat in silence for awhile, Alex playing with his fingers as they drove. Soon, they were crossing over into Mississippi and Michael started looking for motels to stay for the night. 

"I can't wait to take a shower," Alex said, "It's been a couple days."

"Yeah, I can't tell," Michael teased.

"Hey!" Alex laughed.

They eventually found a place with a vacancy and they went up to the desk. A younger guy was manning it, his chin in his palm and clearly bored out of his mind.

"Do you guys have an open room with two beds?" Alex asked. The front desk guy nodded, eyeing Alex a little oddly as he stood up straight.

"Yeah," he said slowly. When Alex gave him his name and his card, though, his eyes widened. "You're–"

"Don't say anything, please? Trying to keep it under wraps if that's okay," Alex said, smiling kindly. The kid nodded.

"Yeah, man, sure," he said, "I love your music."

"Thank you," Alex said. A few minutes later, they grabbed the key and started walking towards the room. "They're gonna know I'm in Mississippi by the morning."

"Well, good thing we'll be on a farm an hour away tomorrow," Michael said. Alex grinned.

"We?"

"Yeah, dude, you can't leave me yet," Michael insisted. Alex smiled and.unlocked the motel room door.

"Okay."

Alex called taking a shower first and Michael let him. After the shower turned on, Michael took the opportunity to call Isobel. She picked up on the second ring.

"Where are you?" she asked.

"Mississippi," he answered, "And I'm gonna say something but don't freak out."

"That's not comforting, Michael."

"No, it's not like that," he said, lowering his voice, "I'm sharing a motel room with Alex Manes. Remember? From high school?"

She was quiet for a few seconds,. "How the fuck did that happen?"

"I don't know," he said, "But I think he might be into me."

"Then why are you calling me instead of trying to hook up with your childhood crush?" Isobel scoffed.

"He's in the shower."

"Are you gonna try when he gets out?" 

"No," Michael said, "I mean, that's too fast and I don't wanna make him feel pressured or uncomfortable."

"And if he makes the first move?" 

"Then I will die " 

"Alright," she laughed. The shower soon shut off and Michael felt giddy all over again.

"I gotta go."

"Be safe, I love you," she said.

"Love you too."

The call ended and Michael went to plug his phone into the wall to pretend he was doing something as the bathroom door opened. He casually looked over to see Alex standing there, damp and surrounded in a cloud of steam as he had a towel wrapped around his hips.

And Michael was fucked.


	6. "Are you drunk?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael admits having a crush on Alex back in high school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> day 6 of Michael Guerin week: "Are you drunk?"

Michael swallowed hard, but it didn’t seem to help the dryness in his throat.

“It has occurred to me that I have no change of clothes,” Alex said, standing there in all his glistening glory as he spoke in a playful tone of voice, “And I don’t know how I feel about putting on dirty ones. Do you happen to have anything in your car?”

Michael stared blankly at him for an absurd amount of time. He’d tried so hard over these last two days not to make any comment on the fact that he was attracted to him, determined not to make him uncomfortable. But then here he was, making that fucking impossible. But Alex didn’t seem to mind as he smiled.

“Are you drunk?” Alex laughed. Michael snapped himself out of it.

“Huh? No, fuck, sorry, I’m just, well, let me check,” Michael said, stumbling to his feet. Alex snorted.

“Well, hold on, if you’re gonna act like that, I might just stay in the towel for my own amusement,” Alex teased. Michael bit down on his lip hard.

“For my sanity, please don’t.”

“And here I was thinking you didn’t like me like that,” Alex said, walking further into the room. He was putting way too much faith in the way he tucked that towel around his hips. Michael took a deep breath.

“Yeah, well,” Michael said, turning away to find his keys and catch his breath, “I’ve liked you that way since I was 16, so.”

“Wait, what?”

Michael quickly made his way out of the motel room and to his car. He took a few seconds to breathe and attempt to shake the image of a very half-naked Alex Manes out of his head. He felt stupid and young again, destroying all of his pens because he’d get distracted by the glory that was _Alex._ He was gorgeous and, now that he was feeling better, it multiplied that by a million points. It was overwhelming and Michael was struggling to remind himself that he was a grown adult who didn’t need to act like this was scary.

But it was scary because it was Alex and it was even better than his teenage self could’ve dreamed.

Eventually, he found a couple pairs of clothes that he kept stored away in his car and grabbed them. They smelled like they’d been sitting in a car for a very long time, but shit happens and they were better than dirty clothes.

After a small pep-talk, he walked back into the motel room to see Alex standing in the same spot he’d left him. His eyebrows were furrowed and his lips were parted a little, just staring at Michael like nothing was making any logical sense. Michael held out the sweats and the t-shirt.

“Here you go,” he said, keeping his eyes on Alex’s forehead with all of his might. Alex didn’t grab them.

“You’ve liked me since you were 16?” Alex asked, “Like, actually? Or are you fucking with me?”

Michael took a deep breath, “Obviously there’s a huge gap where I didn’t know you, but, if you’re asking if I had a crush on you in high school, yes.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Alex asked softly. Michael shrugged.

“I was more focused on studying. When I dropped out of college, one of my biggest regrets was not going after you like I should’ve. I wasted so much time on shit that didn’t happened when I could’ve been chasing someone that could’ve,” Michael admitted, “You know what? Maybe I am drunk. I definitely didn’t drink, but I’m clearly drunk if I’m telling you all this bullshit.”

“Shut up,” Alex said, shaking his head, “It’s sweet.”

Michael scrunched up his nose in disgust. “Sweet? More like depressing.”

“No, but... If 16 year old me knew that you were even looking at me, my entire life would be different,” Alex huffed, “The fact that you cared about me and that I was something you wanted when I was at my lowest... That’s sweet.”

“I guess.”

“Let me romanticize it, okay?” Alex laughed, smiling the world’s most gorgeous smile, “I mean, after that and we’re here, together? Like, when we said fate, I was joking, but...”

“Look, I’m not saying this so you feel like you need to, like, fulfill a weird teenage dream of mine. I’m just being honest,” Michael said.

“Yeah, I know,” Alex told him, “And not many people are honest to me. It’s a nice change.”

“I don’t like lying,” Michael said honestly. Alex took in a deep breath, his chest rising and his shoulders rolling back and becoming really fucking distracting all over again. “Here’s something to wear.”

“Wait, be honest with me,” Alex said, grabbing his arm gently to keep him close. His hand dropped after a second, but the feeling of his warm, damp hand print stayed. “If I would’ve kissed you in high school, would you have liked it?”

Michael’s mouth felt try again. “What kind of question is that? You were the only person I ever thought about taking a break from studying for, ever.”

“And if I kissed you right now,” Alex asked, “Would you like that?”

His heart was thudding in his chest and he felt a bit lightheaded as he mulled over his question. It was almost too much to comprehend. 

“Is that a good idea?” Michael whispered, “‘Cause I don’t wanna fuck this up.”

“Okay, then make a deal with me,” Alex said, holding out his pinky finger, “If it doesn’t go well, it doesn’t make things awkward. If it _does_ go well, it still doesn’t make things awkward because we’re grown men.”

Every hair on his body was standing at attention and he stupidly wanted to tell Isobel everything about what was happening. Instead, he decided he would tell her later, and lifted his finger to loop with Alex’s. Alex smiled and tugged him a bit closer by his hand, leaning in just a little bit.

“If you want me to stop, tell me,” Alex whispered as he rested his forehead on Michael’s. Michael nodded, still feeling like this wasn’t real and too scared to fuck it up. “Can I?”

Michael moved first, tilting his head up to meet his lips. It was slow as they tested it out. Moving too fast felt dangerous. Alex broke the kiss after a few second, his eyes opening and looking downright illegal as he looked at him. How was he supposed to handle that?

“Good?” Alex asked. Michael swallowed harshly and nodded.

“Very,” he admitted. Alex grinned and his hand met Michael’s cheek.

“Good.”

He moved in again and Michael dropped the clothes in his hands in favor of grabbing Alex’s waist.


	7. "I'm only here to establish an alibi."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They take the first step towards a happy ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 7 of Michael Guerin week: "I'm only here to establish an... Ali-bi."
> 
> Thank you guys so much for reading! It's been fun!

Michael woke up to the feeling of fingers on his jaw, tilting his head towards a pair of lips that kissed his nose and his cheek and eventually his lips when he made a noise to show he was awake.

Alex’s tongue slipped past his lips, bringing him to life nice and slow. If he woke up every morning like this, it would truly be heaven. Alex’s hand dragged over his side and pulled him as close as he could as he kissed him. Michael pressed against him and wanted to never move.

“You gotta get up,” Alex murmured as he broke the kiss. Michael whined, reluctantly opening his eyes. Alex was right there and looking all too beautiful for just having woken up. “You’ve got an interview. Go shower and make yourself look nice, I ordered food.”

“Can’t I just stay here?” Michael pleaded. Alex hummed, his thumb dragging over his bottom lip.

“No,” he said simply, “You need to get ready.”

“You’re a tease,” he complained.

“Mmm, is it teasing if we both know I’ll deliver later?” Alex asked. Michael nearly melted which only earned him two more kisses before Alex patted his hip. "Get up."

It took a lot more effort than he would ever imagine, but he managed to get out of bed and not fall over when he did so. Alex got out of bed much easier and stretched in all his half-naked glory. Yeah, this couldn't be real. There was no fucking way. 

"Stop staring and go take a shower!" Alex laughed, "You gotta impress these people so you can get buff like you so desperately want." 

Michael dragged himself to the bathroom and found himself smiling so wide that it hurt for no goddamn reason. Well, there was a reason. Because apparently he got to hook up with Alex now. That was something he could do. He didn't know what exactly that meant in the long run or if this was something they were going to keep doing, but he knew Alex promised more and he had an interview and he was on top of the world.

He'd been wanting something better for so long and finally he was getting that something better.

He came out of the shower as quick as possible, still drying himself off as he walked out. Alex was sitting on the desk, sipping coffee and looking at his phone. Michael hadn't seen him have a phone since the moment he stepped in his car on Friday. 

"Look, see," Alex said, showing his phone to Michael as he came close. It was an instagram post on a Fever Dream fan account saying that Alex was seen in Mississippi. "Told you."

"That only has, like, 200 likes, did you search your name or something?" Michael laughed. 

"I gotta know where they think I am so my band doesn't try to track me down," Alex said, " I left a note saying they could keep the name and their share of the royalties, but I'm not coming back.i still don't trust them to not make it harder."

"I'll keep you hidden," Michael promised. Alex smiled, leaning over to kiss his damp cheek. 

"Thank you, but it'll come out eventually. I just need more time, you know?" he said. Michael nodded.

The delivery girl came as Michael texted Isobel good morning and a short promise to tell her about what happened. She sent back a series of emojis that seemed to show how scandalized she was. He just rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to Alex. He rested his head on his shoulder they ate, refusing to sacrifice any semblance of closeness. Alex didn't seem to mind.

It was easy to be comfortable with him despite it being so new. Very new. He technically just met him two days ago and already he wanted to glue himself to his side. He'd never met anyone that made him feel like that. He refused to give it back.

"You know, if I get this job, I bet they'd be okay with you staying with me," Michael suggested casually. Alex laughed. 

"Thanks for the offer, but I think I should get an apartment," Alex said. Michael sort of felt like that was a rejection, but he tried really hard not to. "Let's date first."

"Date," Michael repeated, "Going on a date with Alex Manes.That sounds like something teenage me manifested."

"But last night wasn't?" Alex laughed. Michael lifted his head.

"I was never bold enough to ever even consider that might happen. Still processing."

"Let me help you process some more," Alex offered, his fingers pressing into Michael's jaw to pull him in for a kiss. It was more than welcome.

They sat and kissed for a long time, just making out like they had all the time in the world. In some way, they kind of did have all the time in the world. Wasn't that something? 

"Alright, let's go so you're not late," Alex said. 

They made their way towards the front desk and that same kid was back for his night shift. He paled a little when he saw Alex again, but Alex just smiled slyly and walked right up him.

"We're gonna check out," Alex said. The kid nodded and started to pull up the paper they needed to sign. 

"So, where are y'all headed?" he kid asked.

"Florida," Alex answered easily. Michael didn't question him, choosing to stay quiet until they got into the car 

"Florida?" Michael asked.

"I'm only here to establish an alibi," Alex stated with a sigh. Michael smiled and shook his head.

"Fair enough." 

Alex took his hand again as they followed the GPS directions towards the farm. The closer they got, the more neevous Michael felt, but he tried to hide it as best as he could. He just needed to stay calm. Alex was going to wait at a coffee shop that was a few miles away and look online for an actual hotel to stay at until he found an apartment. They were going to start a life here. A new one where they were happy and unbothered. Or that was the plan.

"You're going to do incredible," Alex promised as the got to the coffee shop. Michael was too nervous to make a comment on whether he believed that or not. Alex grabbed his face and kissed him enough to take away some of it. "Call me when you're done?"

A stupid, giddy smile found Michael's face. "I don't have your phone number."

"Whoops," Alex laughed. He took his phone though and typed it in before giving it back. He gave him another kiss before getting out of the car and going inside. Michael took a deep breath before heading towards the farm.

He was greeted by an older couple who were immediately welcoming. They explained that the heavy lifting was getting a little more difficult in their old age and their son was leaving for college and didn't have plans on coming back to the farm, so they needed someone to help out. He promised he was down for anything and they liked the sound of that. They showed him to the little airstream that was on the far end of the property that even had its own driveway towards the main road. It was small, but it was enough and it would be the first time he had his own space. He wondered if he and Alex could fit in the bed.

They showed him around the farm, the different barns, the different fields, and introduced him to the animals. Anything he wasn't sure how to do, he promised he could learn. Which he could. He'd always been a fast learner. He found himself getting giddy as he pet the cows and got a look at the tractor. It all was so appealing to him. Why hadn't he done this before? He remembered being so deadset on being an agricultural engineer that it hadn't even crossed his mind to do something similar. This felt similar.

Not only did it feel similar, it felt like the start of something new. It felt like he was finally going to be able to be himself. Truly and purely and he was excited. 

Damn, it felt good to be excited.

"So when can you start?"

**Author's Note:**

> also on my tumblr: spaceskam


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